


How To Get Rich in Night City 101

by Hadrian_Kallig2077



Series: The Many Crack Stories of V and Silverhand [2]
Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Fluff, Johnny is really confused, Minor Angst, V is obscenely rich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:47:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28224132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hadrian_Kallig2077/pseuds/Hadrian_Kallig2077
Summary: “V, how the hell do you have this many eddies in your account? I’m pretty sure even the Arasakas don’t have this much.”V smirked “Alright, Johnny. I’m about to tell you a trade secret.”Johnny is amazed at how rich V is. V reveals how he even got there.Some more crack taking a jab at some of the stuff I found funny about Cyberpunk 2077, whether it be through things I did or what the game did. One shot. A little serious near the end
Series: The Many Crack Stories of V and Silverhand [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067441
Comments: 2
Kudos: 74





	How To Get Rich in Night City 101

**Author's Note:**

> My second story in this series! I AM ON A ROLL! I hope you all like it!

Johnny Silverhand, the cool cybernetic construct grandpa that he was, wasn’t always impressed, but goddamn, the amount of zeros on V’s account was nothing short of incredible. “ _Why the hell does V stay in this shithole apartment in this deathtrap of a Megabuilding when he could be living in a mansion bigger than Kerry’s”_

Johnny couldn’t really take the silence anymore. He cleared his throat.

“V, how the hell do you have this many eddies in your account? I’m pretty sure even the Arasakas don’t have this much.”

V, smug little (and mostly friendly. Johnny would never tell him that lest that fed into his big head.) Corpo bastard he was, simply smirked.

“Alright Johnny. Keep this in mind that what I’m about to tell you is a trade secret. Strictly between you and me, understand?”

Johnny scoffed.

“Who the hell am I going to tell this to? Myself?”

V nodded 

“Good point. Alright, I’m about to show you the secret to my success, the one that I’ve used ever since I was a kid.”

**One nice drive with the Rayfield Aerondight later**

“Alright Johnny. See that S.C.S.M right there? Watch this.”

V walked up nonchalantly to the machine, and then proceeded to buy literally every drink in stock. A bright neon sign went up on the S.C.S.M machine reading “Out of Stock”.

Johnny was starting to get annoyed. 

“Ok, so now what? What does this have to do with anything, V?”

V tsked disapprovingly. 

“Patience, Johnny. Not done yet. **HNNG** ”

In less than a minute, V somehow completely disassembled every drink that he bought.

“Ok, so what now, V?”

V smiled

“Now, we gotta craft some shit.”

**One lengthy crafting transition later**

Johnny was stunned. Somehow, V had turned those 30 drinks of his into scrap, which he then turned into 20 high quality Nekomata Tech Rifles.

“What the fuck...How?”

V smirked

“I don’t have a doctorate in Engineering for nothing, Johnny. You saw the mess we did with the Burya. Did you really think an engineer of a lesser caliber would’ve been able to create that beautiful beast?”

Johnny shook his head.

“Then why wouldn’t Arasaka…”

V scoffed.

“Johnny, all the drinks I crafted this stuff out of is located FAR away from the City Center. Most of the Corpos you meet never step foot out of Corporate Plaza. Not to mention, the swill is cheap as fuck, and if there’s one thing a Corpo never wants to be, it’s cheap. Good thing I stumbled on the S.C.S.Ms as a kid. By the time I joined Arasaka, I had three billion eddies in eight different accounts around the globe”

Johnny was still confused.

“Then why were you even working with Arasaka? You could’ve just retired far away from Night City. Hell, you probably could’ve created your own Space Station and lived away from all this bullshit.”

V frowned, sadness marring his features.

“I didn’t exactly have a choice in the matter. My mom was dying. Arasaka was the only company that had the tech to save her. Me and the old hag never really got along that great, but she cared about me in her own way, and I couldn’t let her die. I signed a contract with them, and they got her the cyberware she needed. Once I was in, I made sure to try and not stand out. After my hiring, I only used that extra money to help Alejandra out with her mortgage on the bar”

Johnny nodded in understanding. 

“Ok, and now for some other questions. If you have this much money, couldn’t you just go to another country and fund some super secret surgery to rip me outta your head?”

V nodded

“I could have. I was planning to, but then Takemura and Delemain asked for my help. You know how I am Johnny. If someone on the street asks for my help in something, I can’t really say no to them. Next thing I knew, we were getting along as semi-friends, Panam and I entered a relationship, and a lot of people were asking for my help. I couldn’t find the heart to turn them down.”

Johnny smiled

“That bleeding heart of yours is gonna get you in trouble V.”

V smirked

“Maybe, but I’m not dead yet. Now, time for some clothes shopping”

Oh _hell_ no. Was it too late for Johnny to take back all the good things he said just now? Where was the escape button when you needed it?!

**After the events of the game, in the darkest reaches of Cyberspace**

“Hey Johnny, how was Cyberspace for ya?” V asked, the classic V smirk present in his features.

Johnny glared at him, clearly disgruntled

“Complete shit. Couldn’t even smoke. You sure what you're planning is gonna work, V?”

“I am 99.9% sure, Johnny. Come on, engineering genius, remember? Besides, I’ve spent two years trying to get all this shit together. I reconstructed the entirety of the Crystal Palace Space Casino, for crying out loud. I’m gonna be really pissed if you throw this all away after all the money I’ve sunk into this. You have any idea how many Tech Rifles this cost me?”

Johnny shook his head.

“Enough, enough, I get it. Alright, fingers crossed. I swear, if you've put me in a suit, I'm gonna make you sorely regret it.”

**One cybernetic body infused with Johnny Silverhand later (No suit, unfortunately)**

V smiled.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, old man.”

“Fuck you, V. I’m not that old.” Johnny stated, his voice came out raspier than he was used to.

V shook his head.

“Remember your rants on my music choice? I’m pretty sure only one demographic tends to do that, and it’s not people my age. Now, get up. Rogue’s been pacing up and down the whole day. Let’s get you to her before she starts asking how I paid for all this”


End file.
